I had a rough week.
We've all had them. A week when it feels like the ground under our feet is beginning to shake. When people you thought you could trust end up turning a blind eye. When feelings of loneliness, isolation and frustration return to the forefront of our minds, battling for our attention.
It's alright. It happens. It happened to me last week.
Difficult circumstances are a part of life. They will show up. But most of the time, these circumstances are completely and utterly out of our control. We can't control what goes on at school or at the office. We can't control what other people are going to say. We can't predict changes in the status quo.
We might not be able to control circumstances, but we can control how we react. We can choose to believe the lies and worry relentlessly over a situation, or we can rest in God's truth. We can keep our head high and keep pressing on towards the goal, or we can dwell and stress. The reaction belongs to us. The reaction often reveals a lot about us. The reaction reveals our need for a savior.
I confess: Last week, there were moments where I began to fear and worry. And then I remembered: God has a plan for my future (Jeremiah 29:11). Will worry add one day to my life? Will it solve anything or bring God glory in any way? Absolutely not (Matthew 6:25-34)! I also remember that in my deepest moments of doubt and fear, God always made a way. He always opened a door. He always gave me hope and held me up whenever I was dismayed (Isaiah 41:10). That isn't changing now. I just need to be prudent and keep moving. God will take care of the rest.
I confess: Last week, there were moments when I was bitter, angry, hurt and disappointed. There were moments I wanted to lash out. To hold a grudge. To be bitter and fight back. And then I remembered: There is only one opinion that really matters. Only one person I aim to please: Jesus Christ. He knows my heart. He knows me more than anyone ever will. He died so that I could live again. I don't have to please anybody. He knows my intentions and where my heart is (1 Thessalonians 2:4). So why am I angry? Why am I bitter? What can man do to me (Psalm 118:6)? Jesus forgave me for all the junk in my life, so who am I to reject that same forgiveness to anyone who has wronged me in my own life (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32)? Do as Christ commanded: Forgive others (Matthew 6:14). Pray for them (Luke 6:28). Love them (John 15:12). And, so, I shall do the same.
I confess: Last week there were moments where I felt completely and utterly alone. And then I remembered: I am not alone. The Holy Spirit is within me (Ephesians 1:13-14). God placed me here in San Antonio to show me that He was all I ever needed and all I would ever need. That no matter where I am, that this world is not my home; that my real home lies ahead of me. My treasure is not stored up here in the present or in earthly things, but in heaven and in what lies ahead (Matthew 6:19-21). And when I was feeling the loneliest I've ever been, God brought a new group of friends into my life, a new church family, to do life with. They share in my struggles and pray on my behalf. And at the same time, my friends and family back home are doing the same. I am not alone.
So what's it going to be? Life is too short to allow circumstances to knock us down for extended periods of time. There are things to be done. People to serve and love. Faith that needs to be put into action. Are we going to allow circumstances and events determine our attitude and outlook or we going to remember the truth that our God is good and our God is great? With Him, all things are possible. Through Him, we are able.
When our eyes are fixed on the Lord, there is peace. There is joy. There is hope. Even when it seems like things are falling apart, we are reminded that this, too, shall pass. That the pain, loneliness and chaos is all temporary. But our God is eternal. He is our fortress. He is our rock. And if He is for us, then who can possibly be against us?
Monday, October 22, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
A Son's Perspective
If there's one thing I try NOT to do, it's look too far ahead. After all, a lot of the time I feel like I have enough on my plate right now as it is. But sometimes I do anyway. Whether it's a good thing or not, I'm not really sure. I guess sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
I'm not a father. I hope to be one day. But right now I truly don't know what it feels like to be one. How can I? I'm not a husband. I hope to be one day as well. But again, I can't really know what it's like to be a husband. How can I? And I won't begin to know what it means to be in either one of those roles until I hold my first child in my hands for the first time and until I say "I do."
At my current church and my home church back in Miami, there's been a huge emphasis placed on the roles of parents and also marital relationships. Series after series based on the family, on sex and marriage, on parenting. And rightfully so. I've learned so much over the last couple of years from pastors, fathers, husbands and others who I look up to and who have lived out what it means to honor God in their relationships with their spouse and their children. Truly amazing men and women that I would be foolish to ignore.
So, naturally, I've been thinking about parenthood and how difficult it must be to be a parent. How scary it must have been for my parents. Funny... I've never really asked them how hard it was for them. If they had fears or doubts when my brother or myself were born. If they even really had time to.
What must it be like to see your child go through the same things you went through? Go through the same trials you endured and walk through the same fires you had to walk through?
What must it be like to offer your love, your comfort, your advice and your open arms to your child, only to watch them walk the other way? What must it be like to listen to your own child blame you for a rough situation?
What must it be like to see your child fall down and get hurt? To see your child go through a betrayal? To go through disappointment, pain and despair? To see your child turn their back to God?
On the other side... How amazing must it be to see your child take their first steps and say their first words? To see them off to their first day of school?
To see them graduate from high school and then college? To see them excel and succeed? To see them fall in love with God and actively walk in faith? To see them stand up for what is good and right?
To see them go through adversity and deal with it gracefully, coming out stronger than they were before?
But then I go back to what I am right now. What I have been from the moment I was born: I'm a son.
We talk about all the responsibility that parents and husbands and wives have, but what about the responsibility we have as sons and daughters?
I'm not a father. I hope to be one day. But right now I truly don't know what it feels like to be one. How can I? I'm not a husband. I hope to be one day as well. But again, I can't really know what it's like to be a husband. How can I? And I won't begin to know what it means to be in either one of those roles until I hold my first child in my hands for the first time and until I say "I do."
At my current church and my home church back in Miami, there's been a huge emphasis placed on the roles of parents and also marital relationships. Series after series based on the family, on sex and marriage, on parenting. And rightfully so. I've learned so much over the last couple of years from pastors, fathers, husbands and others who I look up to and who have lived out what it means to honor God in their relationships with their spouse and their children. Truly amazing men and women that I would be foolish to ignore.
So, naturally, I've been thinking about parenthood and how difficult it must be to be a parent. How scary it must have been for my parents. Funny... I've never really asked them how hard it was for them. If they had fears or doubts when my brother or myself were born. If they even really had time to.
What must it be like to see your child go through the same things you went through? Go through the same trials you endured and walk through the same fires you had to walk through?
What must it be like to offer your love, your comfort, your advice and your open arms to your child, only to watch them walk the other way? What must it be like to listen to your own child blame you for a rough situation?
What must it be like to see your child fall down and get hurt? To see your child go through a betrayal? To go through disappointment, pain and despair? To see your child turn their back to God?
On the other side... How amazing must it be to see your child take their first steps and say their first words? To see them off to their first day of school?
To see them graduate from high school and then college? To see them excel and succeed? To see them fall in love with God and actively walk in faith? To see them stand up for what is good and right?
To see them go through adversity and deal with it gracefully, coming out stronger than they were before?
But then I go back to what I am right now. What I have been from the moment I was born: I'm a son.
We talk about all the responsibility that parents and husbands and wives have, but what about the responsibility we have as sons and daughters?
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' - which is the first commandment with a promise - 'so that it may go well with you
and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'"
- Ephesians 6:1-3
"A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother."
- Proverbs 10:1
"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
- Colossians 3:20
As a son or a daughter, we have a lot of power and responsibility. And not only to our earthly parents but to our heavenly Father, as well.
I think a lot of people in my generation in general don't realize the kind of power we have. How much our actions impact those that are around us, those that we claim to love so dearly. Are we bringing joy to our parents or are we bringing them grief? Are we honoring our parents, aiming to make them proud? Are we aiming to make God proud? Are we listening and obeying their commands not out of obligation, but out of love? Do we realize that those commands are not there to restrict us or constrain us, but to help us grow and reach our potential?
I know I've made decisions that disappointed God and my parents. But because of the grace and love of God, reflected in my parents I've been able to move forward and grow. I'm far from perfect, but now I'm free to lead a life that is hopefully pleasing to them and to God, confident in their love for me.
Even if you have earthly parents that have hurt you, let you down, disappointed you, not shown you the love and support you needed, may I challenge you to still try and do right by them? If you're holding on to bitterness and pain and ill will towards them, can you try and offer forgiveness and let it go? Because if you don't, the only person that it hurts is you. And it won't only hurt you, but it'll hurt your future family as you carry that pain and bitterness into those relationships.
Responsibility doesn't just come when we have families of our own. Our responsibility as children started a long time ago. And it doesn't stop when we leave the house, either.
I think a lot of people in my generation in general don't realize the kind of power we have. How much our actions impact those that are around us, those that we claim to love so dearly. Are we bringing joy to our parents or are we bringing them grief? Are we honoring our parents, aiming to make them proud? Are we aiming to make God proud? Are we listening and obeying their commands not out of obligation, but out of love? Do we realize that those commands are not there to restrict us or constrain us, but to help us grow and reach our potential?
I know I've made decisions that disappointed God and my parents. But because of the grace and love of God, reflected in my parents I've been able to move forward and grow. I'm far from perfect, but now I'm free to lead a life that is hopefully pleasing to them and to God, confident in their love for me.
Even if you have earthly parents that have hurt you, let you down, disappointed you, not shown you the love and support you needed, may I challenge you to still try and do right by them? If you're holding on to bitterness and pain and ill will towards them, can you try and offer forgiveness and let it go? Because if you don't, the only person that it hurts is you. And it won't only hurt you, but it'll hurt your future family as you carry that pain and bitterness into those relationships.
Responsibility doesn't just come when we have families of our own. Our responsibility as children started a long time ago. And it doesn't stop when we leave the house, either.
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